Bedtime heart connetions

A bedtime scenario a couple of nights ago went something like this.....

ZJ in her room AFTER bedtime routine is over: "I gotta go potty" 
Me from in my room: "OK you can get up and go!"
After she sat for a while she started playing with the wet wipes.  I said if you don't need to go you need to get back in bed.  
She said "OK... I might have lied."  
I said so you didn't have to go potty?  
She said yeah... I said so you lied so you could get out of bed?  
She said yes.  
My disposition got very sad.  I said that makes me sad and God really sad when you lie... go get in bed.  
I went to the door to say goodnight one last time and she said "hug and kiss!"  I asked do you want to pray?  She said yes.  (she usually says no)  I prayed for her to remember that lying hurts other people and it hurts God and asked Jesus to help her to not lie.  She was listening very closely (which is unusual at prayer time)  
She prayed after I was done... "and give me a new heart".... and then I continued... yes Jesus, give Zoe a new heart and help her to please you.  Replace the sinful heart and help her to have a clean heart that wants to please you.  ZJ then repeated me by simply saying "help".  I said yes.. that is a good thing to pray - what we need is your help God - help us to please you.  Help mommy to make good choices and help ZJ to make good choices.  We love you so much.

The Unexpected Blessing

HUGE SHIFT!!!!  My new job did not work out... as in - TOTAL FLOP!  Its funny how I almost knew the very first day I started too.  It just wasn't right for me - they thought I was right for them... which made me feel good - but not a lot of people are cut out to be a recruiter.  So, I am turning another corner after leaving my previous job which was very people oriented and thinking I was shifting into a more professional arena, I am now taking a totally different direction and going HOME.  (I know, I'm using a lot of all caps today)

I am excited to say I am exploring a totally new, fun and very exciting option which is to be a more PRESENT mother, one who spends time teaching and pouring into my daughter.  I know what you might be thinking... how are ya gonna pay your bills girl?  Well... that is a good question.  I am starting an in-home daycare center.  I have been marketing and spreading the word and hope to kick things off before Christmas is here... sooner rather than later.  

And, by the way I don't want to knock the moms and dads who are not able to stay home or have limited time with their kids... I have been working full time the last 3 years of my daughters life and we have built a strong bond, created beautiful memories and I wouldn't change any of it but, I knew it was time for a shift for us at this time.  This is a transitional period before preschool, kindergarten and lots of fun new seasons ahead.  I am just so thankful to be a mother first of all... and to get to grow and learn with a 3 year old is a blast.  She is such a gift.  I will keep you posted!  I plan on taking pictures of our adventures together and will be blogging out the fun we experience together.  

Seasons: Moving Forward and Looking Back

I am excited to say that I start a new job next week.  I've been thinking tonight about all the things I have learned over the last three years and how valuable this time in my life has been.  Not everything I have learned is related to my work place, but I have a huge portion of my life with people who have impacted me, challenged me, and who have spoken at times some life changing words into me.  I was also thinking of what many people see professionally and what is actually taking place personally are many times (and most times) two different things.  I want to remember the challenges and also the high points and honor all the people I have been able to share my life with during this season. 

A season of testing
A season of failing
A season of learning
A season of receiving a greater amount of love than ever before
A season of increased ability to love
A season which started out of a place of insecurity and fear but was transformed into confidence and ground laying security

Highlighting the areas that I have found most important when working with people:
Boundaries
Accountability
Honesty
Kindness and Genuine concern
Communication
Unity
Passion for the common goal and purpose

my river analogy

Well, my younger sis is the blogging inspiration.  She has been writing up a storm and I have my pothetic page which has barely had eyes laid on over here.  I figured out how to follow her through my blogger site tonight and thought.... I should just write something!  So, here goes!

Life has been such an adventure since I last wrote.  I am still living with my mom and enjoying being a mom of a now 3 year old.  She has been a real joy and every day is fun and at the same challenging in different new ways. 

I recently went kayaking with my sister.  We had not gone out on the river for over 3 1/2 years.  As I was paddeling down the river I thought about how my life is so different than the last time I was on the river.  I also thought back to the experience of paddeling out down stream and then back up stream.  It was the time of year when the water was really low and we ended up getting out of our kayak and walking through the rocky areas, dragging our boats behind us.  It was fun being together, but it was kind of annoying and challenging compared to our recent trip.  This past Saturday when we went, the river was really high and was actually rising while we were out on it.  The tide was super fast.  We chose to take the bus out 6 miles and then paddel down stream to the base.  It took us less than 2 hours to get back which the owners said they had not seen in years.  After we got back they prohibited anyone else from going out on the river because of how quickly it was rising due to the rain we had the days before. 

Three years ago my life was just like the river was... dry and difficult.  I was struggling, striving and trying to paddle up stream.  I was really stuck.  We had decided to start up an Adventure Club.  It was only a few months later that I got pregnant.  Life was falling apart, or so I thought.  I was basically lost.  I was desperate for God to bring his refreshing rivers into my family and my life so that he could just fix everything, but I was not surrendering over my will or my choices to Him.  I wanted the benefits of Him but did not really even know Him.

Basically, I now have a whole new perspective on what it means to be a child of God.  I am completely changed from 3 years ago.  My boat is now floating down stream.  Alot of the same circumstances, obstacles and scenery are here, but internally I am transformed.  The releasing moment was when I finally decided to surrender it all to Him.  I struggle with this still, but I'm learning that the quicker I let go, the quicker I find peace and am able to see Gods Spirit work in me and through me.  This is something so special to me!

I'm loving it!

Now that my daughter is becoming a "big girl" I am really getting into learning new and fun ways to lean through play.  I am excited to begin the journey of blogging about our fun times and hopefully connecting to others who may be in a similar place in life as I.  I am a single mom who works full time.  I currently am living with my mom (only the last few months) with the goal of saving up some money for an emergency fund as well as pay off my car as much as possible before we will be able to have our own place.  I take life one day at a time while also remembering that God has the big picture.  My faith in God is so important and really is what I rely on through the good and the rough days.  I am not sure where my blogging journey will take me but I think this will be fun.  I've actually had this page set up for a while now but just never had the nerve to start writing... so I just decided to write SOMETHING and figure it will go from there!